yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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