It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
