i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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