I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
