your parents love me but you hate me
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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