the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize