We're facebook friends in real life
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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