Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
