I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
