actually, I'm a sock model
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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