Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize