i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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