I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize