Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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