But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!