Whod you bang
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit