Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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