She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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