My room smells like vodka and shame
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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