summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
