You can't motorboat a personality
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
