Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You took a bar mat shot.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
