guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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