hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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