So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
