Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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