My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Please don't give away my fajitas
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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