Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
