Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
