Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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