exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
