yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
