She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
