Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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