hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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