Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Still dying that you shit outside
Blow job season was short but glorious.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
