just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
