i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
