Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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