So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize