Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
