I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
