I cockslap morals
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
