I puked a lego.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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