I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize