He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
