I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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