Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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