please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
