of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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