You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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