I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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