And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
