It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
