Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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