p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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