This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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