but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
