WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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