I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
birth control should be required to get into college
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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