My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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