as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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